J'Adore.

After a good handful of happy and positive notes on this blog, I feel it is time for words which simply need to be off my chest before I blurt them out to an innocent naive teenage passer by in Sheffield city centre. Consider this a warning. This blog entry will be a rant, not a short one either. It involves the one word I focus my attention around for an unknown reason, along with the rest of the female population. The one word which has the ability to confuse and uplift a person at the same time: 

LOVE

This word is so powerful. It can make you feel alive, like your soul has a purpose, living together with another being in your own 'bubble.' (Please refer to this entitled blog entry written in a loved up daze for more information on this term.) I've been in love, to the point where tragedy and negativity in my life was almost dulled by the hue that was my love for another person. You can smile walking down the street, listening to artists who wrote songs of this particular feeling and empathise. Yes, I would catch a grenade for him. Any day of my naive life. And this word, it blurts out of our mouths. So simply and easily. I love you. Just like that, you've illuminated someone else's life. You've elevated them up on a podium. To you, they are a rarity. You can hold hands strolling together in a field of flowers and not care what other people will think of you and your displays of affection. 

However, despite all this fancy whoha, when it goes wrong, it has the opposite effect. You feel degraded, worthless and in pain to the point where you think you could not possibly sink lower. Suddenly, your bubble has burst and your life is over. Nothing matters, your great life plans full of hope and imagination becomes crushed and all you see is a blur. You hide it away, but it comes back up. Like vomit. The person who once was your centre of life gravity becomes someone who can bring you to tears, a shaking mess when they enter your eye line. My question to civilisation is this: WHY?! Why are people fascinated? Why is this word thrown around so we can punish ourselves with the simple ideas of love and all the thrills that come with it. Devotion. Loyalty. Romance. Boo hoo. Blah blah. It is used to the point of no meaning. Hey. Yeah I'll be home later. I love you. Bye. Like a Tamagotchi. Feed the beast so it doesn't die. And how do I know this, I hear you cry? Because I've been that beast and I have no idea why. You lose all self control when you're in love. Nothing matters. Friends walk out of your life and you do nothing to stop them because you've got your baby to make you feel whole.

I say we all sit back, grow the fuck up and treat this word with the caution it needs. When you want to say it,  wait a month THEN think about saying it. If it feels like blurting out of your mouth to make your relationship work, force it the fuck back down. When you truly care about someone, your feelings will follow but they can't be forced. And don't get me wrong. This word means a lot to me, when it is said with meaning. I would rather be with someone for a year before they say it to me than with someone who says it after a month, because it would be genuine. You can say you love someone, but if you don't and you say it anyway, the damage and hope that person will gain is simply not worth the risk. I'm 20 years old and I've done both. I've broken someone's heart and been the villain but I've also had mine broken, you could call it karma. My love experience is on an even score now. So time to hit reset and deal with things the way my mature self would. As I type this, my beads on my wrist read the letters LOVE to me. Instead of looking and thinking back, I think it shall be my reminder. To love yourself before you love someone else. And when you become blessed with the experiences of love, cherish them. Because, and many will agree, love is worth the fall. It's worth those moments crying yourself to sleep at night clutching the tshirt which smells of your beloved. Your love bubble is bigger and brighter than that pain. So use that as a motif. Never let your bubble burst.

Love is a beautiful thing.
 Love lifts us up where we belong.
All you need is love.