Stage.

This morning, I woke up and thought about where I was a year ago, before university, Sheffield and half the people I now know as close friends. It was very different indeed. But one thing stood out that I haven't forgotten. It continues to appear in conversations to this day and I can never understand why. But it has continues to be my motivation since it first appeared. As it is well known, I'm an actor. I study acting at university and it is a great passion of mine, yet throughout areas of my life, some people have claimed that "studying acting is pretentious." or  "Actors aren't trustworthy, you specialise in faking and lying." Others say "Anyone can read Shakespeare on a stage and be applauded, it's not special." And finally, my favourite "it's not a real academic degree."

Let's address these issues. Firstly, studying acting is pretentious. On first glance, you can see how this would appear.One two hour class of mine was even spent learning how to breathe correctly through our diaphragms, knowing what to drink to protect your voice and even how you should try to never blink when in front of a camera. In some lectures, we do discuss versatile topics. What we class as Performance. Stanislavski and his never ending theories on how to act.  Pretentious, maybe. But doesn't this apply to every other subject?

In Science, Darwin and his evolution theory. Maths, Pythagoras and his triangles. English Language and Shakespeare reasons for inventing such complex monologues. History and Hitler's outlandish views. Sport and how performance can be enhanced through specific movements. Somehow it all ties in. You over analyse subjects and specifics because that's how you learn. If you only know something exists without knowing why it does so, then you go through life never knowing. Yes, I do want to question why Pinter may have put the word "and" in a line of one of his plays, but that's the beauty of learning. You are developing your own ideas and broadening your mind. To me, the freedom of speech entitles you to your own opinion. It stops you becoming a robot. But to say it's not academic is not the case whatsoever. I do what every other student does, I learn. I write essays, I struggle like the rest of us. I go to lectures. I attend seminars. I don't stand in a room all day with a script and pretend to be someone else. That's an advantage of my degree. Most of my days are spent reading and studying. I pay the same as anyone else. And I refuse to be told that my degree is one of "mickey mouse" proportions.

Everyone has a talent. Mine is become a chameleon and change my persona to entertain others. I think the world of drama is very powerful. It can change lives and aid in the expression of views without starting conflicts. It's intellectual and extremely gratifying. But it can also be a struggle. "Anyone can read Shakespeare on a stage and be applauded, it's not special." Let me prove you wrong. Those films you see with heart rendering scenes are perfect examples. The cute cancer riddled child dies, the average joe loses his life struggle, the lover lets go of her necklace into the ocean. Watching it is one thing. But acting it is another. Antonin Artaud famously said that "the actor is an athlete of the heart." And he is right. You have to be in tact with your emotions. Find love for someone you may have never met. Hate a stranger but show it without any movement. Your face must be read by the audience. If it isn't, then the story will not make sense. You don't just run around chasing cars or kissing fit actors. You could spend 18 hours of your day playing one scene over and over again. Putting yourself through heartache, turning it on and off. And it's hard. I envy those stars who can do it so easily. Portray any character. Stare into a camera with such ease as to make your heart thud. It's a gift. And I'm proud to be learning how to do it right. Because if it wasn't for films, tv, stage, radio.. people would not be entertained and subjects would not be explored. Expressionism would not exist.

And as for this...  "Actors aren't trustworthy, you specialise in faking and lying." You couldn't be more wrong. As an actor, you wear a mask and become someone else. But you can't wear that mask forever or you lose who you really are. I can't lie to save my life. It's way too obvious and no matter how hard I try, those who know me best see right through it. But that doesn't mean that I can't act. Psychologically, the ability to lie will wear thin and the character you portray in real life will mould into yourself. Look at Heath Ledger, who is the tragic example of when acting goes too far. It's also about control. You may be playing Hamlet, but you must never become Hamlet. You have to open your mind and embody another person, with characteristics unlike yourself. But it is then your job to banish that person from yourself and bring back you as a person. For many people, being at your most vulnerable in public is one of their worst fears. But I want to make a living out of it. It is one of the most cut throat and yet rewarding industries around and those lucky enough to be noticed have their dreams fulfilled. It is not stable. It is heartbreaking. And it is hard. But I have been lucky in my experiences. I've performed on a stage I could only have imagined being stood on, with one of the world's best playwrights directing me. I've learnt to control my body in specific ways and emphasis language to display different emotions. I can manipulate my face, my voice, my eyes. And it's more than I could have imagined. Shakespeare wrote in 'As You Like It' that "All the world's a stage." And it is. You can be anything you wish to be. Facing your fears is what makes you a stronger person. Every watches you, even if you are the loneliest person around, someone will notice. Salute the haters who criticise you and next time, come back fighting. Because as a nation, we do have freedom to express our views, but we also have the freedom to challenge others and prove them wrong. And I think I'm doing just that.




“Art, especially the stage, is an area where it is impossible to walk without stumbling. There are in store for you many unsuccessful days and whole unsuccessful seasons: there will be great misunderstandings and deep disappointments… you must be prepared for all this, expect it and nevertheless, stubbornly, fanatically follow your own way.”  - Chekhov.