There are certain things in life I don't think I will ever understand. Why anyone in the world likes mushrooms, people who dress their pets up like humans and any living woman who doesn't find Adam Richman attractive. (Before you wonder, the answer is YES I DO. He is perfect in every way. I even tweeted him a marriage proposal and he accepted. Swoon!) But the thing that disgruntles me the most is something every human in the world possesses but which around 50% simply can't be bothered with. This emotional, if you can call it that, needs so much time and effort to nourish and grow, yet makes both members of its functioning party feel like rubbish. I'm talking of course, about grudges.
It's safe to say that especially throughout ones adolescence, a person's attitude and all round perception of life changes dramatically from one to another within the blink of an eye. If I think back five years, I can truthfully say I hold few aspects of my individuality now than I did as a 16 year. Back then, I was really rather naive. I'd only just found the attention of boys and even then, only one in particular of any real value, my clothing style persisted of black and pint skater trainers, fingerless gloves, star headbands and as much eyeliner that I could get away with. (This one may have stayed with me into my 20s.) I had a best friend who I spent every waking minute with, who shared my obsession with My Chemical Romance, my clothes, my music taste and even my hair colour at one point. I didn't really hate anything, except for one girl who I had a fight with just before I left school. This "fight" involved me tricking said girl into meeting me at the shops, then shouting at her and throwing a bottle of Fanta over her head. She said something about some other thing that must have made me angry, or something. The point is that when I look back, I no longer possess these characteristics or feelings. Especially said hatred for said girl. As a matter of fact, I'd forgotten about it two months later and was too busy making new friends at college. Yet all I seem to see lately are people who hold such hatred against others through actions which they did at a time that they can barely remember about. Okay, so I didn't like this girl back then, but if she said hello to me in the street, I like to think that I have the right mind frame to now say hello back, smile, maybe even start a conversation. Because what happened has past, it didn't affect my life negatively in any way whatsoever and to be honest, it wasn't even that important. I hold no grudges against any ex of mine, even the really bad ones, and why is this? Because at one point in our sad little lives, whether for a day, week, month, year.. whatever, we actually worked together. We shared time. We were happy. And even though it ended, some a lot worse than others, after time had passed and feelings had lessened, I had nothing to be angry about. Because what ever was said or done, I'd past it. A new chapter has started so to speak and I had focused my mind on other things in life. Which is why I simply can not fathom those who continue to be full of rage and anger towards issues, feelings and words which were most likely forgotten months ago. Yet because it has been brought to their attention again, they feel the need to hold the same hatred. A hatred you'd not felt for months and months.
This doesn't apply to every case of course, some hatred is completely justified especially if that person then continues to carry out actions which fuel such feelings. That I understand. But when you are hated for a bad relationship, argument or event which happened a handful of months into the past which doesn't affect your life in the present day, in any way. That is irrational.
My point, although I may have rambled to get here, is this. We spend so much time, energy, effort and emotion into hating too many people who come in and out of our lives. We restart arguments, throw back punches and scowl till wrinkles appear at others because of the past. And it's wrong. I was always told as a kid by my Dad that hate is such a strong word. You can't truly hate something unless it's impacted your life to the point of destruction. And he's completely right. Those who hate celebrities because they're annoying, ie One Direction, Justin Bieber are even worse. Okay so they have a catchy song, they spit on fans, they're attractive. Don't hate them. Hate those who've destroyed a part of your life that affected your future. Not an girl who called you a bitch five years ago, or an ex because he dumped you over text, or a celebrity because they abuse their success. I'm not asking for deference, nor am I suggesting we should all bend down and bow to those who've hurt us. I'm simply saying this. Use your energy wisely and realise what is important in life. Hate isn't. Love, trust, happiness and chocolate is what's important. So why not waste your time finding smiles, not throwing scowls.
